Are you married to one of them? Dating one of them? Seeking out one of them? You know who I’m talking about or heck maybe you are one of them. Yes, that’s right ladies and gentlemen, I’m talking about the power tool yielding, pick-up truck driving, whiskey slinging, love you but I ain’t ordering your foo foo coffee at Starbucks because I will not say venti and soy in the same sentence, manly man.
In the past few years society has taken our men, waxed them in places where the sun don’t shine, dressed them in pants even my high school self could never fit into, and manicured them more than my retired Grandfather’s front lawn.
That’s right, society would like us to think that it’s no longer acceptable to be a manly man – and you know what I’m just not cool with that.
So, I suggest you grab a glass of wine (heck maybe a bottle) and buckle up, because it’s about to get real. And if you are already feeling offended, I suggest you click the little “X” in the upper right-hand corner and keep on scrolling because the PC Police aren’t invited to this party.
Speaking of which – let’s get this party started.
Cheers to you – the ax swinging, log chopping, build you a fire to keep you warm manly man. You get up each morning and you go to work to bring home the bacon and then you fry it up with eggs and you serve – you serve the shit out of that bacon.
Then you go out and you show the lawn who’s boss. You mow that grass right down and it never stood a chance. And then you grab the weed wacker and you wack those weeds – you wack the crap out of them.
If it’s Summer you whip out some steak and fire up the grill and then you crack open a beer while you listen to some AC/DC or maybe some Dierks Bentley.
If my car needs service you service it – you service it good. You whip open the hood, grease all over your hands and you dip that stick and you check it. You check the oil.
If a snow storm blows through I have no fear because you got this. You will blow that snow to kingdom come and then you will salt that sidewalk so I don’t slip.
At church on Sunday you’ll let me in the pew first and hold my hand during the sermon.
If we go out to eat you’ll hold open the door when we walk into the restaurant and then you’ll pull out my chair – because you are a true manly man.
When we have children, you’re the Dad who is out in the backyard, throwing the football or having a tea party with our children’s stuffed animal friends. And then you read them stories and tuck them in at night. You teach them right and wrong and how to stand up for themselves and also kiss their boo boos, because you, you are a manly man.
The world has lost it’s ever loving mind and that’s the cold, hard, non-PC, unapologetic truth. And I for one have had enough. If you enjoy latte’s, so be it! Want to lotion your hands until they are smoother than your babies bottom – do you boo boo. But don’t you dare for one second try and tame my manly man.
So cheers to you, you manly men! May you never trade your grease stained hands for perfectly trimmed cuticles and lotioned hands.
So raise your glass you women who join me in loving manly men.
May we love them, may we support them, may we defend them.
And may we never apologize for loving our whiskey drinking, skinny pants avoiding, pick-up truck driving, non-latte drinking, power tool yielding, man of the house, manly men.
Dedicated to my own manly man who supports me in all I do and would never doubt or inhibit my ability to try something or do something on my own (so feminist ladies about to object sit right back down), but who also defends me, provides for me, and takes care of me and our future children. Cheers to my husband Josh and to all the manly men out there!
Because someone had to say it!