Sometimes I write things that I don’t ever publish. Tonight, was one of those nights.
I sat here furiously typing things into a post entitled, “If We’re Being Honest”.
Typing things out of frustration.
Typing things out of anger.
Typing things out of desperation.
As if somehow, in some way, by putting it all out there, it would make a difference.
And maybe it would. For awhile.
But at the heart of it all; at the heart of all the ugly things I typed out – is fear.
Fear is an ugly word. If it were a drawing I’d imagine it to be a black tornado, eating everything in its path. Sucking up all of the joy with an evil smirking grin. Because that is exactly what fear does; it steals joy.
My family has 3 middle names that are shared by the girls on my Mom’s side of the family. My Mom’s middle name is “Lynn”; my Aunt Vicki’s is “Marie,” and My Aunt Cindy’s is “Joy”. When I was born, my parents gave me the middle name, Joy.
What I typed earlier in the post that shall never be published, had nothing to do with joy, and everything to do with fear. But fear, is a liar; it tells you all the things that could go wrong, in an attempt to steal your joy.
And so tonight, in the midst of my trying to “Be Still”, fear came in and tried to swallow my joy; it started with the thoughts in my head.
“If you close for a day to rally at the Capitol, parents will pull their kids”
“If you close for a day, no one will show up at the Capitol”
“No one supports what you’re doing”
But fear, is a liar; it is of the Devil.
Will there be some parents who aren’t happy with me for closing for a day? Possibly. But that’s a risk I have to take; a short-term risk for the chance at a long-term gain. For the chance to have Joy in our profession, my every-day life, once again.
How can I not trust a God who has given me every reason to believe that He has got this?
Every time I have had doubt, He comes through with another piece of the story that wasn’t on my radar.
When I was feeling that this was in vain and was a short-term movement? He worked through an Organization who invited Haylee and I to be a part of a 10-person panel with US Senator Tina Smith who saw the newspaper article and who feels the area of child care needs to be taken to a national level; that same Organization then asked who else might be good to invite. Me? Little old me?
When I was feeling that the movement to share our stories would fade away? He worked through a fellow provider, giving her the courage to tell her emotional story and journey; her journey which left lawmakers speechless.
And when I wasn’t even thinking about the movement at all, focusing on time with family, he works through Tom Copeland, US Family Childcare Business Expert, who reached out via email and wants to connect regarding insight he has.
God has this; all of it.
While it may be hard – it is hard at times -to face tomorrow and the unknowns, God provides evidence that He has a plan and that this work is not in vain. This work – The Joy Initiative – is not only about Joy in Child Care, but the Joy we feel from His glory; from what He has done for us.
While I may feel fearful at times, I can rest knowing that God’s got this.
I can Be Still knowing that He is God and He is using this story, for His glory.
May we all, Be Still.
If you’re looking for a little inspiration, listen to God’s message through this song.
“Peace Be Still” (feat. Lauren Daigle)